I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
