For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
