So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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