Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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