The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
