Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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