Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
