I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We are two peas in an std pod
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
