How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
