Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The maid of honor just puked.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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