No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
should my penis look like a turkey
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Randomize
