as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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