Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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