ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
