You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
