I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
