Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
