I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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