Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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