Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
