no, he came in my armpit
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
