SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
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