mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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