i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
