Kiss
Puke
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
