A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
