Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
