im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
