Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
accomplished twins. life is a go
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
