did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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