He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
