hotel room ftw
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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