She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
