If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
