There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
