this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
