last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
