She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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