the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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