Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
