Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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