he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
