just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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