Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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