She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
