ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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