He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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