I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
