I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
