The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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