I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
