6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
