You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
