so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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