You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Threesome in a minivan. New low
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
