3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
