you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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