Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
